break my fall.

Painting done by Kramer Dahl :)
In the last week I feel I haven't been myself.
This could be due to several reasons.
I guess one could say that I'm frustrated with unexplainable things.


This.
Last Sunday when I went into work I expected everything
to go as planned. I was wrong. Very wrong.

I show up around 4:00 and Maryanne (the general manager),
was there as a server, as she usually does on Sunday afternoons.

For the first 45 minutes everything was going normal.
Then, a man came in that was dressed in a blue Winger's shirt.
He sat down and was talking with the owner (her name is Leah).

About 20 minutes into their conversation, Maryanne sat to talk with them.
Afterwards, Maryanne came up to me and said that she was leaving.
I was in many ways confused of what this meant.
She told me that they were firing her and that the new general manager
was the man in the blue shirt.

My world had just come crashing down.

When I first started working at Salt Lake City Winger's I had a deep hatred for the woman.
I disliked how she handled things and how she was always nagging at the servers.
She would always be on your back about little things that you had forgotten.
Maryanne is Asian, so I think a lot of it is just part of her culture.

After working with her over 8 months, I began to build a friendship with her.
I realized that it was just how she ran her restaurant.
She was very efficient, and compared to other Winger's, there was very little waste produced.
She made the restaurant tick like a clock, and never missed a beat.

There was absolutely no reason that she should've been fired.
You shouldn't be fired for doing your job too well.
Over her career at Winger's, the restaurant won multiple service awards.
There wasn't a moment when we would run out of supplies for food.
She handled the restaurant in the exact way I, or any other sensible person, would want it.

She was seven months pregnant and worked over 100 hours a week.
Since she has been gone an entire array of problems have begun to arise.
Everything has gone to shit!

R.I.P. Maryanne. I love and miss you.


This.
I'm debating on working a second job.
I want to go and apply at Denny's and work the graveyard shifts.
I heard that the money is good.
I need the money if I am ever going to accomplish everything I want.
I just don't know if I can handle the amount of sleep that will be lacking.

This.
I have been overly annoyed with the human population in general.
I have noticed that many people around me are only skin deep.
So many people take the small things for granted.
They don't see all the beauty.
They aren't genuine.
People just come crawling back.
Why? You're just going to flake off again like dry paint.
You're so ugly.


This.
A $2.00 tip is still not okay, and never will be.


This.
My mind is constantly running, I want to do so many things, yet I lack the time and funds.


This.
I don't care for calculus but it stands in the way of my dreams, and I must understand it.


This.
Everyday I am tempted to buy a plane ticket for the next flight to somewhere else.
Anywhere else.
I feel like I am stuck in the same routine and unable to get out.
It'll all pay off one day, right?


& Finally
I'm so sure about some things and so unsure about others.